Tea Time!

We woke up this morning and it was still raining, but it had slowed down to a drizzle and it was sunny. Typical Bermuda weather is sun with 2 minute showers, so this is what we were expecting anyway, just longer showers. Alexa, Mom, Dad and I went on an early morning trip to the gym (10:30 am early that is) while Monica slept in late. I want it on the record that I did 15 minutes of cardio and sit-ups and weight lifting, so it doesn't appear piggish when I tell you what I ate later. I mean it's my vacation.

After the gym we went into Hamilton, which is the biggest city here on the island, and we walked around Front Street for a while and window shopped. Well I should say we whisked from store to store because it was gale-force winds, and already only 50 degrees fahrenheit. And I made the stupid mistake of wearing a dress because everyone here looks nice all the time, so I had the added challenge of making sure my skirt didn't fly up while my legs were going partially numb.

But this was all worth it. Because going into Hamilton means having High Tea at the Princess Hotel, and it is possibly my favorite activity while we are here in Bermuda.

Bermuda is by definition a British Colony, so high tea is served the English way, or what I like to call, the correct way. There were a two different options for tea, seasonal and specialty rum tea. Naturally, Mom, Dad and Alexa had the seasonal and Monica and I had the rum so that we could all share and try everything. Here's the a family picture.

This was Dad's first official Afternoon Tea outing, and I have to say, he was on very good behavior. He didn't slurp his tea, or do anything inappropriate, unlike some people *cough* Mom *cough* who couldn't even wait for the waiter to bring out the tea before she had to eat a raw sugar cube. Despicable behavior.

But anyways, THE FOOD. We had more or less a feast. Here's a close up of the Rum Tea Tier.

And here is my sandwich plate. The sandwiches look small, but when you eat so many of them, they are actually quite filling. And SUPER delicious. Clockwise from the top. Oriental Duck and Vegetable Wrap, Smoked Salmon and Rum Spiked Cream Cheese, Hamilton Shrimp and Lobster Po' Boy and Shrimp Cocktail Croissant.

The smoked salmon was divine, and the wrap was also delicious. The shrimp was gigantic, and very favorable.

Here is a shot of the seasonal tea. Highlights include a Beef Wellington sandwich with Horseradish sauce and Balsamic Tomato and Basil Bruschetta. Delicious.

Following the finger sandwiches, we had scones with clotted cream and jam that gave me London flashbacks. I was in heaven.

And as if tea could get any better after eating traditional English scones with clotted cream and jam, then there is the petite dessert dish. I had Rum Swizzle Cake, Chocolate Rum Balls, Key Lime and Mango Mousse, and Raspberry Cheesecake. And for the record, these are small.

As a finale to the extravaganza, they serve you sorbet in chocolate edible cups to cleanse your palette. Mine is Banana Rum Swizzle, a play on the national drink of Bermuda.

Time well spent if I do say so myself.

Meditate On This, I Will

This morning I woke up at 4:45 am. Yes, at what is usually referred to as the ass-crack-of-dawn, and after miraculously finishing my packing a record six hours before we were leaving for the airport, we drove to Columbus Metropolitan Hub.

First of all, CMH is without a doubt, the best airport in the United States. It is never very crowded, everyone is friendly, security line is never too long, and they have a Cup of Joe right at the front of the building. And as if CMH could get any better, today we saw no less than 15 other children of Israel (including one frummy) in the airport leaving town for what I assume is a commercialism free holiday. Apparently great religions think alike.

We had a two hour layover in Philadelphia, where we got breakfast. Mine was steel cut oats, with brown sugar, pecans and cranberries, and two sunny side up eggs. And I have to say, for all of the absolutely horrific experiences I've had with airports and their cuisine, this was not only the best breakfast I've ever had in an airport, it was actually tasty.

Granted anytime I'm in an airport and I don't have an unscheduled 14 hour delay, I'm a pretty happy girl.

We had a one hour flight from Columbus to Philly and then an hour and forty five minute flight into Bermuda. Which would have no big deal of a flight at all because if I have an iPod I can sleep positively anywhere. But this flight was extraordinarily great, because I have a Jedi-Knight for a father who can sweet talk anybody into doing anything he wants them to and make them feel like it was their idea AKA he managed to get the entire family seats in first class at no cost.

Seriously, we walked on the plane, the flight attendant asked if Alexa, Monica and I were triplets, (we aren't) all of us walked back to our seats, and then they came over the intercom and asked if the Hirsch family would please report to first class. And as if it isn't embarrassing enough to have had your name called over the entire airplane's cabin, of course our planned seats were in the second to last row of the steerage compartment, and we had to march ourselves up to the front while everyone else on the plane stared daggers into my heart with their eyes. I've never been so ashamed.

At least until we actually finished the mile long walk to the promised land, because let me tell you, first class is amazing. There are flight attendants right there next to you who want nothing more than to do your bidding and keep the plane from crashing. And in first class, the flight attendants bring you a drink while the plane is boarding, then take it away when the plane is taxiing to the runway, they take it away and ask you for a second drink order, then as soon as the plane is in the air and cleared for movement about the cabin, THEY BRING YOU YOUR SECOND DRINK!! You wouldn't even believe it, it is so gloriously wasteful. I mean, usually I'm against using my father's Jedi mind powers for evil, but when his use of the Force gets me a airplane seat with enough room to cross me legs in front of me and extra blankets, all I have to say is long live the Emperor.

It was raining in Bermuda until the plane touched down, and it became miraculously sunny for our walk into the airport, and for our cab ride to Tuckers Point Club, where we were greeted by the most wonderful staff in the world with the most wonderful greeting you can ever hear:

"Welcome Home"

Of course then almost immediately after we stepped into our house, it started pouring rain and hasn't stopped since and now there's a hail warning for this evening. So right now we are playing Star Wars Special Collectors Edition Monopoly that we swiped from the club house and are relaxing while I blog. And honestly, I can't really think of anything else I'd rather be doing anyway.

Welcome Home.

Turns Out, I Love Cheese

Today my blog continues with the tour of specialty artisan shops in historic Powell, Ohio with Beehive Bread Company

Beehive Bread Co. opened on Liberty Street in 2007. They are family owned and bread is made fresh daily, and it is delicious.

They have an extensive menu of various different grains, specialty and sweet breads. My personal favorite is the Cinnamon Swirl specialty bread, but honorable mention goes to the Cheesy Bread, which is Skunta's favorite. It is just so cheesy, I can't handle it.

Here's some rolls and loafs. Drool worthy.

Sweet Rolls and Snickerdoodles and Muffins, Oh My!

Mom and I went yesterday to pick up Cheesy Bread for Skunta as well as small loaves of Pumpkin Chocolate Chip, Cranberry Orange and Cranberry Eggnog for gifts.

The bread is great. But really the best thing about Beehive Bread Company is using their bread to make sandwiches. Especially the cheesy bread, especially with paninis.

Here is Lauren with her sandwich creation.

I'm not one to brag, but I'm pretty sure Lauren and I are the best sandwich makers on the planet.

Clearly, my dad thinks so also.

Here's the finished product panini

Mine is called the 5 Cheese Monster. It is cheesy bread, with cream cheese, honey mustard, spinach leaves, turkey, turkey pepperoni, parmesan, colby jack, 4 cheese mexican cheddar and horseradish.

It was a creamy, crunchy, cheesy perfection.

Pair with Arizona Raspberry Iced Tea and devour. You're welcome.

Q: Why are Candy Canes Shaped the Way They Are?

Despite popular belief, I am actually not perfect. Yes, it is true, I did get a perfect GPA this quarter, and I've been told I'm an excellent balance of brains and beauty, but I'm not one to brag, and while the 4.0 is true, the second statement is possibly a gross exaggeration.

There are many traits about myself that I would deem as less than perfect.

1. I have a tendency to trash talk when I have no business doing so.

2. I rarely exercise and I don't eat healthily enough for that to not be a problem.

3. I tend to make lists when they are unnecessary.

4. I use humor to deal with my emotional failings in usually inappropriate circumstances.

5. I'm scatterbrained and I get off topic easily.

I could go on with my inadequacies, but this blog really only pertains to the first line item. I have a tendency to trash talk when I have no business doing so. This is usually only a problem when it pertains to sporting events and my personal athletic abilities, but recently this epidemic plagued my life in a new and exciting way.

A few days ago, my friend Mark (whose name has not been changed, despite requests it be left out of this blog, but I'm about telling my slanted version of the truth, and in this post, he's relevant) decided after reading some of my blog posts that he could be my blog manager. Which is great I guess because I've never had one, and because there's no money in it, so I'd never have to pay him, or give him a cut of any profits. And Mark has been giving me blog prompt ideas in hopes that I will blog more often, because he's my manager, and probably because he secretly likes reading them.

Anyway, today, Mark got all on my case because there wasn't a new blog post to read. And I explained to him that it's not everyday that exciting stuff happens to me, and that I don't usually blog about my average day to day encounters. And then he said,

"As a writer, you should find excitement in everything you do and see."

And I couldn't just take that remark lying down, so of course I said in response,

"Dude, I could write a blog post about anything and make it interesting."

So that's where I made mistake number one. And yes, I realize this was a stupid thing to say, because I am not Chuck Klosterman or David Sedaris, so I probably can't write a blog post about anything and make it interesting. In fact, I'm sure there are ton's of things I could never write a blog post about and make interesting. Tax Brackets come to mind immediately. And also spoons, but I'm getting off topic.

And of course now that I've committed to being able to write a blog post about anything, Mark is all like "Well you better do it" and I'm like "Well just give me a topic and I will!" and so then he says,

"Write about why candy canes are shaped the way they are."

So that's how I got myself into the mess that I'm in right now. My first inclination is to look up why candy canes are shaped the way that they are, but I'm too lazy right now and I honestly don't care. Instead, I'll just make something up and present it as fact.

Q: Why are Candy Canes Shaped the Way They Are?

A: Candy Canes are shaped like actual canes that elderly folks with poor balance use to walk around easier. Clearly, this is because they function as actual canes, as well as Christmastime sugary treats meant to delight the taste buds. I naturally assume that candy canes can only be shaped the way they are to serve as canes for fragile Gingerbread Men. It can't be easy having to walk around on legs made of flour, eggs, and a chemical reaction. And since Gingerbread Men can't bend over without crumbling to pieces, it seems to me that mobility for them would be extremely limited for them without some sort of support system. And since I can't think of any Christmas candies that are shaped like wheelchairs, Gingerbread Men must use candy canes to get around easier. Hence why the candy cane is shaped the way it is.

SO THERE!

"Marley was dead: to begin with"

There has been some speculation that people think I'm a scrooge. And when I say people, I mean my friends Mark, Andy and Levi (all names have not been changed) among others. For the record I understand why people may think I am a scrooge.

Reasons could possibly include:

1. My hatred of Christmas Music. But to that I'd say, if you went through 7 years of middle and high school choir singing Christmas music as a Jew, you'd hate it too. And for the record, hearing all of your other classmates complain about singing a Hanukkah song kind of takes the joy out of feeling included.

2. My hatred for the mall beginning on Black Friday and stretching until December 26th, despite my absolute love for the mall at all other times of the year. Well, here's why: I love shopping. I want to take my leisurely time perusing every corner of my favorite department stores, and trying on 15 coats just to make sure I buy the one that is perfect, and between Black Friday and December 26th, that experience is ruined for me. I am practically a shopping guru, practically raised in shopping malls, and this time of year is the only time where mall rats like myself become alienated by frantic fathers trying to buy last minute gifts and psychotic hockey moms who think that unless they grab something at that very minute it will be lost forever in some bottomless shopping mall pit. God forbid these novice shoppers consider Amazon.com.

3. I dislike everyone wishing me "Merry Christmas" on the street as if it if were a substitute for "Have a Nice Day." And while I realize that this is a petty and stupid complaint because at least this means people are being nice to each other, I dislike that everyone assumes I celebrate Christmas, and this continues to play into the fact that even though Christmas is a Christian holiday, everyone on earth treats it like it is practically a holiday celebrated by anyone who is a human being, and disliking it (God Forbid) would mean one didn't have a heart. I have a heart.

4. As a television lover, part of me is always annoyed that the last episode of the Fall TV season is always the Christmas episode. Mostly because while there are many Christmas episodes I've enjoyed over the years (Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas last week on Community was spectacular for example) I always feel like I'm missing out on part of the joke, because I've never done Christmas.

However, I'd like to take this point to acknowledge that I am NOT a Scrooge. Despite all of these things above. I do not just hate Christmas for no particular reason. Also, according to Dictionary.com, a scrooge is a miserly curmudgeon, to which I say I am absolutely not a miserly curmudgeon. And shame on those who would say that about me.

That being said, I will be spending this Christmas out of the country for the second year in a row, by what is probably not a coincidence, in attempts to get away from commercialism, cold weather and Americanized X-mas. So be prepared for some upcoming international blog posts from Bermuda, more information to come later.

But now if you'll excuse me, my mother needs me to wrap Christmas presents for everyone she's ever met in her entire life practically. And we all know how important Christmas presents are....

Soul Searching for Dairy Products

Something wonderful has happened. Something I've been waiting for a long time. It's simultaneously going to make my life amazing. Actually, it will probably make my life immediately fantastic, but the long term effects are still up for debate. But I'm so excited about it right now that I don't care.

That's right folks: Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams has been kind enough to open an establishment less than 5 minutes driving distance from my house (even in the snow). I am now making it my Winter Break Mission to try as many flavors as possible.

This is the story of the JAM sister's trip to Jeni's.

The shop is located at the corner of Powell and Liberty, in the heart of historical Powell (which is not all that exciting, except that now it has a Jeni's) and it is the most spacious of the lot of the Jeni's franchise. For more information, check their website.

http://jenisicecreams.com

I usually try not to be obnoxious with my ice cream tastings in Jeni's because of the respect I have for them, so I usually just try a few flavors to see if I will like them, and then pair them with old favorites. But since we went to an Ice Cream Parlor at 5 o'clock in a suburb in the middle of a blizzard, and there was no one else in the store, I figured it was fine to try as many flavors as I wanted.

Here is my Trio: (Clockwise from top left) Oakvale Young Gouda with Vodka-Plumped Cranberries, Bangkok Peanut, and Meyer Lemon Yogurt Sorbet.

Strictly speaking, everything at Jeni's is absolutely delicious. There are certain flavor's that aren't exactly my taste, but honestly, everything is really freaking good 99.9% of the time. Bangkok Peanut is my favorite flavor, and it was as spicy/sweet/superb as it always is. I was trying Oakvale Gouda and Meyer Lemon for the first time today, and they were both great. I have a soft spot for Oakvale Gouda cheese, because it is one of my favorites, and I appreciated its pairing with cranberries because I usually pair it with raspberry jelly, so these were similar. The Meyer Lemon is a very tart flavor, but I quite liked it, and it was a very interesting pair with the spicy/sweet Bangkok.

Here is Alexa, enjoying her 2 half scoops in a cone.

Close up shot. Sweet Potato with Torched Marshmallows on top, Dark Chocolate Peppermint on bottom.

She only gave me one lick of each (which in and of itself is a testament to how good they are) They tasted basically exactly like they sound (heavenly and sweet). On a later trip, I will likely pair one of them with one of the spicy ice creams, because they would make for a really good spicy/sweet play.

Monica all smiles because of her trio in this picture. And she is wearing sunglasses because she burst a blood vessel in her right eye and now kinda looks like a vampire. Which is hilarious and awesome. And she's totally fine. She went to the doctor and everything and they cleared her for take-off. She's just wearing the sunglasses for sympathy.

Close up shot (Clockwise from top left) Pumpkin 5 Spice, Oakvale Gouda, Olive Oil with Sea Salted Pepitas.

An interesting combination. The Pumpkin tastes just like creamy pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. Melts in your mouth perfectly. The Olive Oil is unique, creamy and mild. Would also make an excellent pair with a spicy ice cream as a cooler. Should be paired with Queen City Cayenne in the future.

But anyway, the BEST part about this entire experience, was that while we were taking pictures of the ice cream for this blog post, the lady over heard us apparently, and then while we were eating, brought us over this tray FOR FREE!

She just came over and said "We thought you might like to try some of our ice cream sandwiches, in case you had never had any before. And you can put them in your blog if you want"

Talk about the best thing that has ever happened to me. Free Jeni's ice cream sandwich pieces because this crazy employee thinks that my blog actually matters. Somewhere in the blogosphere I hope it does, but I never in my wildest dreams thought it would get me free anything, let alone free Jeni's. If I could float on a cloud right now, I'd be on an ice cream cloud of happiness #9.

Overall rating, Jeni's is amazing. Whether you get it in pint form or in the store, it is always a good choice. And I'm not just saying that in hopes that someone from her business will read this blog and offer me free ice cream (although I definitely wouldn't reject them... that would be rude) And while I'm thinking about it, just because I've always thought it would be a good idea, if anyone from Jeni's IS reading this blog, please make an ice cream flavor involving cream cheese. That would be so perfect.

Goodbye Fall Quarter!!!

FFFFFFFFRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEDDDDDOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

In case you couldn't read that, it says FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, I am so glad to be on Winter Vacation. And I seriously need a break. I have been working so hard reading articles for class, writing papers for class and watching movies for class, I need this break more than anything, just so that I can sit around my house, read books for pleasure, write for pleasure and watch movies for pleasure. I'm a girl of simple tastes really.

So expect a lot more blog posts because I will finally have time to blog for the first time in the past 3 months. Which is insane.

I'm going to do some serious soul searching over this winter break, starting with deciding what the meaning of my life is supposed to be, progressing to how can I make myself the most happy and ending with what are the implications of soul searching anyway. And by that time I'll be able to make a New Year's resolutions list with just enough time to go back to school and continue my life as it was before the soul searching started. I can't wait.

So while I'm thinking about lists, here is my scavenger hunt for things I want to do on Winter Break. This list is not all inclusive, and items can be completed in any order.

1. Watch Big Bang Theory Seasons 1,2, and 3

2. Watch How I Met Your Mother Season 1

3. Go to Zen Cha Tea Salon in the Short North

4. Go Shopping with Mom. Buy Boots, Coat, Gloves, Scarf (Bonus Points if everything matches)

5. Read Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris

6. Finish The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami

7. Steal the book Steal This Book by Abbie Hoffman (Bonus Points if you actually complete this)

8. Do Penguin Puzzle

9. Arrange Meshuganotes Music (at least 2 songs)

10. Learn a new song on the piano.

Every season of TV is worth 5 points. Every book is worth 10, and all activities are worth 15. Partial credit can be awarded for partially completed numbers, awarded based on the percentage of the activity completed, corresponding to the percentage of the full points possible.

All participants in this scavenger hunt must leave comment on this blog, and document tasks being done with pictorial proof. Happy Hunting and Happy Break!!!