"The Definition of Insanity is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting Different Results" - Albert Einstein

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Meditate On This, I Will

This morning I woke up at 4:45 am. Yes, at what is usually referred to as the ass-crack-of-dawn, and after miraculously finishing my packing a record six hours before we were leaving for the airport, we drove to Columbus Metropolitan Hub.

First of all, CMH is without a doubt, the best airport in the United States. It is never very crowded, everyone is friendly, security line is never too long, and they have a Cup of Joe right at the front of the building. And as if CMH could get any better, today we saw no less than 15 other children of Israel (including one frummy) in the airport leaving town for what I assume is a commercialism free holiday. Apparently great religions think alike.

We had a two hour layover in Philadelphia, where we got breakfast. Mine was steel cut oats, with brown sugar, pecans and cranberries, and two sunny side up eggs. And I have to say, for all of the absolutely horrific experiences I've had with airports and their cuisine, this was not only the best breakfast I've ever had in an airport, it was actually tasty.

Granted anytime I'm in an airport and I don't have an unscheduled 14 hour delay, I'm a pretty happy girl.

We had a one hour flight from Columbus to Philly and then an hour and forty five minute flight into Bermuda. Which would have no big deal of a flight at all because if I have an iPod I can sleep positively anywhere. But this flight was extraordinarily great, because I have a Jedi-Knight for a father who can sweet talk anybody into doing anything he wants them to and make them feel like it was their idea AKA he managed to get the entire family seats in first class at no cost.

Seriously, we walked on the plane, the flight attendant asked if Alexa, Monica and I were triplets, (we aren't) all of us walked back to our seats, and then they came over the intercom and asked if the Hirsch family would please report to first class. And as if it isn't embarrassing enough to have had your name called over the entire airplane's cabin, of course our planned seats were in the second to last row of the steerage compartment, and we had to march ourselves up to the front while everyone else on the plane stared daggers into my heart with their eyes. I've never been so ashamed.

At least until we actually finished the mile long walk to the promised land, because let me tell you, first class is amazing. There are flight attendants right there next to you who want nothing more than to do your bidding and keep the plane from crashing. And in first class, the flight attendants bring you a drink while the plane is boarding, then take it away when the plane is taxiing to the runway, they take it away and ask you for a second drink order, then as soon as the plane is in the air and cleared for movement about the cabin, THEY BRING YOU YOUR SECOND DRINK!! You wouldn't even believe it, it is so gloriously wasteful. I mean, usually I'm against using my father's Jedi mind powers for evil, but when his use of the Force gets me a airplane seat with enough room to cross me legs in front of me and extra blankets, all I have to say is long live the Emperor.

It was raining in Bermuda until the plane touched down, and it became miraculously sunny for our walk into the airport, and for our cab ride to Tuckers Point Club, where we were greeted by the most wonderful staff in the world with the most wonderful greeting you can ever hear:

"Welcome Home"

Of course then almost immediately after we stepped into our house, it started pouring rain and hasn't stopped since and now there's a hail warning for this evening. So right now we are playing Star Wars Special Collectors Edition Monopoly that we swiped from the club house and are relaxing while I blog. And honestly, I can't really think of anything else I'd rather be doing anyway.

Welcome Home.

No comments:

Post a Comment